Monday, February 14, 2011

Why I didn't speak up about my relationship

I think I didn't admit or reveal to my friends/family/therapists/social workers/anyone that I was in a verbally abusive relationship, because I didn't want them to think that I was making a bad choice. I didn't want them to think that I wasn't able to end the relationship. I am educated, well educated, I study psychology, I have volunteered and attended classes/courses on domestic violence.
I didn't want people to be worried about me, I didn't want people to think I wasn't able to handle myself. I didn't want to end the relationship because I didn't want to seem a failure.
The good that I see in my ex partner, the potential was important to me. I didn't want to go back to living with my mother and I didn't want to live on my own.
I am turning 27, in two days. I have a son who isn't yet 2 years old. I don't think it's a good idea for him to be around his father when his father is tearing me down, and telling me horrible things. I don't think that this is a good idea. I don't want my son to grow up to be like his father. Angry, scared and acting like a spoiled child. This isn't how I want my son to act.
So I made the choice and I moved out. Just trying to protect myself. Sure I am living with my mom now, but this is because I don't have a job, and I am trying to finish my degree, now at a snails pace.
Wonderful, wonderful. I think this is like a Lawrence Welk show flashy colors, and flashy song and dance numbers.
Oh my mom waxed my eyebrows and it still hurts like three days later.

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